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Royal Runnamok Navy Crew

Sir Thomas Francis Fremantle

(1765-God knows when)

Flagship: Neptune


SIR THOMAS FRANCIS FREMANTLEThe loyal captains of the Royal Runnamok Navy have beeched me to commit to writing the many perils and adventures we have shared and as I have yet to begin my autobiography, I have deemed this as both a worthy endeavor and good practice.

With the exception of having to swim from my first ship as it sank off Cuba, my career with these fine men has brought me increasing responsibilities, satisfaction and glory. Ever since the Lord Admiral Bligh, God Rest His Soul, pronounced me fit for duty with those memorable words “Has own money, makes good bait” I have endeavored to live up to his expectations.

The admiral granted my first commission as Captain aboard a saucy little third-rater named the Tart in 1793. A wonderful first command, used to blockade Toulon that same year, she responded well to my commands but bucked like a bitch in heavy weather and was always wet below decks. Later, as Captain of the Inconstant, which behaved so gallantly in Hotham's action off Genoa, in March 1795, I was finally able to conquer that small bladder ailment which had annoyed me since that run-in with the scullery maid in Gibralter the previous year.

Served under Admiral Nelson at Santa Cruz, 1797. Found the Admiral to be an outstanding family man whose example I have always tried to follow. I was wounded and received my first battle scars in this engagement and to this day must use a pillow when seated. Those insipid spies of the French have learned to recognize my pillow, damn them!

As Captain of the Ganges in Lord Nelson's victory of Copenhagen, the 2nd April 1801, I earned the honors that that would later grant me command of my first-rater the Neptune. We sailed the Neptune to victory at Trafalgar, the 21st October 1805: she was the third ship in the weather column, and lost forty-four killed and wounded. Fine men all of them and apparently the heaviest of drinkers, as my debt at the pub has dropped by fully half of its normal total.

I fell in with some ruffians of late, Captain Duff among them, and found that a leave from my comrades in arms was needed. As I can not abide the French, a stint in the Foreign Legion was out of the question…so I did a tour with the Centurions of Rome, which I enjoyed immensely. Stout fellows all of them! I’m thinking of getting a timeshare.

I have since been found guilty of low treason and demoted until I can again distinguish myself in battle. The court viewed my insubordination and mutiny as standard Navy behavior, so I escaped unscathed on these counts.

As I began, my autobiography is still incomplete and its end may be as close as the next engagement of the Neptune. I await your orders.

God save the King.

Thomas Francis Fremantle

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